Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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