It's just like the Real World with babies
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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