can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
