we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
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