I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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