I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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