You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I will be naked everywhere
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
