My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
