We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
