There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
