Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
