I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
