i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We are two peas in an std pod
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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