How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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