dude i'm inner monologue high
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
And then he peed in my hair
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize