He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
