I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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