I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize