East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
