he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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