thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
