I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
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I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
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She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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