And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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