Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
