I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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