I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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