i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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