Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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