You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
