Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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