Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
