if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
