i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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