If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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