Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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