don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
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at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??