Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.