hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
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My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
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Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho