So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party