yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.