took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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