I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
