The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
whose ass print is on the piano?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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