watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
