It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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