bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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