My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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