Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
