That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
