Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
