So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
