i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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