Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize