yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm at about main and main street
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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