i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
