don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
