so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize