You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Can I color on your dick again?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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