Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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