I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
