She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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