So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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