"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize