I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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