dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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