Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
