so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
