he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
