69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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