at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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